Just surrender and trust

I feel like someone up there is having a lot of fun observing me creating all my perfect plans and then turning everything upside-down for me :D. If you´re following my Life Experiment, you know I want to test living with more joy and ease, be more playful, just follow intuition in all decisions, surrender and trust, and see what happens. Part of that is also tuning into energy in nature and flowing with the seasons in the year´s cycle.

How did that go so far?

In winter, everything went great. I was “wintering” and enjoying that a lot. Just slowing down and literally doing nothing. I didn´t feel guilty about being lazy or unproductive. Only to BE and download my Big Vision piece by piece. I didn´t receive any info about HOW I could get there but I was ok with that. So far, I was patiently staying in the not-knowing.

But then I started to feel like it was too long. Energy in nature started to grow so theoretically, it was time to bring ideas to the ground and make a plan. I felt like I was behind. I tried to make a plan but it just didn´t flow!  My idea was to get through all my journals from the last year and make some conclusions about this year’s goals.

While reading my notes I reminded myself of many insights about Freedom, Flow, and Fun which were the main themes of my last year. I also knew the themes for this year: Surrender and Trust. I still didn´t know how to formulate my current Life Experiment and how I was going to apply that to my daily life.

What to do??

This was where the Spring Equinox found me. I literally felt the potent spring energy flowing in my veins and was ready to take action but still didn´t know WHAT that action should be. The only thing I was clear of was the ultimate BIG Vision but of course, the gap between now and then was also big.

The fear of missing out popped somehow into my mind and urged me to DO something. Make up the plan and start to execute on that. The problem was that with the vision so far away in the future, it was really difficult to figure out my daily actions to make it happen. Too many activities were waiting in a row to fit into too little time boxes throughout my day. What is the first step, and what´s next? How to know what has the higher priority? 

Finally, I accepted I needed to lower my ambitions and let go of some of my planned activities. This is always the most painful part for me. I want to do it all, I want to make it happen right now! What should I STOP doing? How to do just One Thing?? After a long process of thinking and rethinking, I chose writing. It should mean that for now, I stop trying to record videos on my YouTube channel (this was really tough decision) and I´m also not going to create any online courses right now. 

It felt like a big win but…

I was so proud of myself! I finally got to this point and chose my One Thing! Now I can make the plan!

“If you want to make God laugh tell Him about your plans”

“Ha-ha-ha!” laughed the Universe out loud. Unexpectedly and unintentionally, I ended up with 4 scheduled interviews for my YouTube channel AND I´ve signed up for a course-building platform. The complete opposite of what I´ve just planned! How did that happen??

The best part of all of this story

Here comes the lesson from the Universe: As I started to push myself into Head-led activities like setting up goals, planning reasonable actions, practicing discipline, and focusing on achieving results (and forgetting about surrender and trust), I got knocked out. My body stopped me. I got so sick I wasn´t able to get out of bed for 2 days! I was completely down. On the 3rd day, I finally crawled out. I was weak (I didn´t eat anything for the 3 days) so I had to pause and rest after any physical activity, however small (like going to the bathroom). In those pauses, I spent quite a lot of time on FB.

Mostly, I’m trying to limit my FB time to 1 hour a day but now I´ve decided to break the rule so I´ve had enough time to read posts in the groups and even answer some requests. I also went through maybe 100 emails I didn’t check in the 3 days and read them all and even clicked on the links and read articles.

And as the result of reaching out impulsively to random people in FB groups and reading ALL my emails I got involved in 2 promising collaborations, scheduled 4 interviews, and had a few conversations with so many eye-opening insights!

This is how I want that!

Everything evolved in flow and quite naturally, without me doing anything. I just relaxed, followed intuitive impulses, connected with people I felt called to connect with, told anything that came to my mind at that moment, and then just received wisdom, deep insights, help, and anything that came out of the connection.

So what looked like a completely unproductive procrastination on socials turned out to be the most productive day in the last few weeks! This is my dream come true! I love to “work” like this 😀 Because I was sick and weak I´ve let go of any ambitions of my striving mind. As I stopped pushing myself into action I was able to tune into my intuition again. I just followed the guidance and everything clicked the right way with a beautiful synchronicity 🙂

And what if this is the message?

Just relax and stay tuned. No pushing, no trying to figure that out. Just listen to your intuition and wait for an aligned impulse. Don´t freak out if it takes longer than expected. Just surrender and trust. 

And that´s exactly what I´m going to do. Surrender and Trust. This is going to be my Life experiment for 2024 🙂